The Oddity of Launching your Daughter while Entering Menopause

I am in an odd and intricate life stage right now. I am definitely in the thick of perimenopause. Unprepared and definitely did not have a village of women surrounding me and letting me know what to expect. With all of the immense amounts of information on puberty and childbirth and childrearing, yet I was completely unprepared for this random cluster of symptoms that I currently find thrust upon me.

And at the exact same moment, here I am, walking my daughter through the introduction to birth control options and the beginning of her sexuality journey. I know that she finds it equally awkward and intriguing, this entire subject of sex. And I am trying to fight against the purity culture messaging in my head that hammered down upon me like a never ending waterfall of Christian self loathing. But I find that I have no map to show me how to have these conversations.

I do not want to hyper sexualize or glorify sexuality. But at the same time, I do not want to send her forth into adulthood as utterly unequipped as I was. I am grateful that in recent years, honestly thanks to social media, I have been embraced by the support of others affirming just how damaging purity culture is to women everywhere. But recognizing and validating the harm, still does not teach us how to teach our daughters. Nor does it really actually teach us how to overcome our own personal shames.

I find that I am circling the drain of knowing that the only thing I can do is try my best. To try each day to do the best that I can to have an honest conversation and to try to approach each situation with curiosity rather than feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

It reminds me of the day that Brandon, fresh from his 5th grade health class climbed into the car and said "MOM! so you have had sex THREE TIMES??!!??" in reference to the fact that there were three kids, and I was flabbergasted but also internally laughing so hard.

I suppose that is the best I can do, attempt to keep laughing as the awkward situations pop up.